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Top 10 Things to be Learned from the Movie Airplane! Originally posted by Movies No One Should See |
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1. Never have the fish When the options are steak or fish, remember: always have the lasagna. I don’t like lasagna, so I’m screwed. Wait, I could have the steak. Steak is good, right? Well, if you’re going to have the fish, make sure you’re friends don’t have it as well…
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2. It’s always a bad week to quit your addiction Drinking, smoking, sniffing glue, doesn’t matter. Once you’ve decided to kick the habit cold turkey, something will happen that week that will bring back your shakes forcing you to try and calm them. What can you turn to? That’s right: good old crazy glue. You’ll calm me down, right? *Long Sniff* Oh, yeah… |
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4. Airplane pilots are curious Pilots like to ask lots of questions: “What’s our vector, Victor?” What I found out is they liked to ask me lots of questions when I came up to see them when I was a little boy. ″Have you ever been in a cockpit before?″ No, I’ve never been in a plane before. ″You ever seen a grown man naked?″ I laughed. ″You ever hang around a gymnasium?″ Boy, they sure wana know a lot of info. ″…you ever been in a Turkish prison?″ |
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5. Whacking magazines are very a popular reading material on planes Because being squished in the center seat between two heavy set feminists women is the best time to pull out a magazine with nude, air-brushed women in it. Maybe the 80’s were a different time, or maybe I’m not old enough, but I think ″whacking″ shouldn’t be done in the same room as 300 people. Wait, the bathrooms! I’ve been doing this all wrong. |
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6. Details aren’t always important right now ″This woman has got to be gotten to a hospital.″ A hospital, what is it? ″It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.″ See, details don’t matter. |
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| 7. You can never have enough sunglasses | |||
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8. I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley Shirley, I can’t be serious? Who the hell is Shirley, and why aren’t you taking me seriously? |
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9. Drinking problems are funny |
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| 10. And, sometimes when you’re feeling deflated, all you need is a good blow |
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Bonus lessons - When shit hits the fan, it really hits the fan - Nobody likes to be kicked in the face with an iron boot - Don’t mess with Girl Scouts - People will do anything to keep from hearing about your ex
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